My Identity By Itself Causes Violence

From the "I'm a gaijin, but still I got flavor" dept.: Friday night in Kichijoji. I'm out on the town. Patrick Macias. Steve, our editor from Chronicle Books who's in town for the week. Jodi, his girlfriend. Two seconds out of the station: BAM. I'm collared from behind by someone who I think is Patrick horsing around but turns out to be a cellphone-wielding chimpira who's scouting clients for his hostess club. His arm on one shoulder. His fucking chin on my other. Reeking breath panting "Hey! Hey. Hey!" into my ear. I tell him I'm busy and he scurries back into the shadows.

Half hour later at the amusingly named Bar Jap: BAM. I'm collared from behind by someone who I think is Patrick but turns out to be a drink-wielding sarariman who's scouting friends for his lonely evening. Arm on one shoulder. His fucking chin on my other. Reeking breath panting "Hey! Hey. Hey!" into my ear. This time Patrick takes charge and distracts the dude with talk of the Gosperats for half an hour.

I spend the rest of the evening looking over my shoulder, nervously expecting gaijin-loving members of some other marginalized Japanese social group to jump me. Alas, the walk home is uneventful. I wake up with a hangover and a sore neck the next morning. The end.

Comments

[Patrick3]

Bar JAP is the shit. We are going there every night from now on. Next time, Salariman Zero buys the drinks. There's also that Taco Rice place in Harmonica Yokocho with the girls who wave hi...

[Matt]

Bar Jap is indeed the shit. Any place that lets a guy wearing a KFC bucket for a hat spin records is a good one in my book, particularly when they're all Japanese-language versions of Deep Purple songs.

[Ginrai]

Does the guy with the KFC bucket hat have anything to do with Buckethead, the American experimental heavy metal guitarist guy who wears a KFC bucket on his head and a drama mask on his face?