Syndrome X
I'm 5' 11" and just under 170 pounds (76.5 kg, to be exact). I don't smoke and I exercise regularly. I tell you this not as a segue into a begging for a date but because I just had my free Mitaka city-sponsored check up and got a clean bill of health... save for a borderline case of the dreaded "metabolic syndrome." In other words: I'm overweight. According to Japanese standards, anyway. Even the doctor shook his head as he pronounced the diagnosis, but oh well. I'm marked for life.
"Metabolic syndrome" is the buzzword of late in Japan, and the guidelines are so ludicrously stringent and mindless of body type that basically everyone has it. Ever since my diagnosis, I've been getting regular mailings from the local ward office containing all sorts of trinkets designed to help a fat whale like me get back into shape.
Last week was a little tape measure designed to be wrapped around your waist -- regardless of height, if your belly is a certain diameter, you're in the red zone. But best of all came yesterday: a faux pub menu with calorie counts replacing the prices, and the helpful advice "can you keep your calorie count down? We can't outright recommend sticking only to alcohol in the pub, but..." I love it. And the part about "make sure not to drink too much... MOST OF THE TIME." Now this is some medical advice I can get behind.
You're likely out of luck, we don't have waists. At least I don't, no matter how small I get. Oh, by the way, warning: I've lost a bunch of weight, expect a smaller, svelter Alt Sister when you return next month. Currently weighing in at about 123, and still losing a bit, so I might be a little under 120 when you get here. Just an FYI. Still no waist though, hahaha.
Posted by: Matt's Sister | November 09, 2008 at 01:32 AM
I'm my case I'm well over the limit. But I'm working on getting smaller.
The main motivator is that it is so hard to get cool Japanese t-shirts that are for someone *larger* than me, so I figure I better get smaller to be safe.
Then next year when I hit Tokyo I'll go clothes shopping.
Posted by: Gilles Poitras | November 09, 2008 at 06:48 AM
I fear I will etarnally be obese. I enjoy my beef, pork and dairy products (preferably in the same meal) along with beer FAR too much. I walk my 2 1/2 miles a day, so that's got to account for something.
Posted by: hillsy | November 10, 2008 at 04:45 AM
I was actually getting there thanks to my two-pints a day intake, but the Ketel One diet seems to be paying off...
Posted by: Patrick Macias | November 10, 2008 at 10:01 AM
I always thought you subscribed to the "heroin model" diet, Patrick...
Posted by: hillsy | November 10, 2008 at 10:19 AM
I'll NEVER be able to work a host club with "metabolic" on my resume. Sigh.
Posted by: Matt Alt | November 10, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Opiates constipate you. The spice must flow.
Posted by: Patrick Macias | November 11, 2008 at 12:09 AM
Ah, but Patrick, that's where the Banana Diet comes in. I'm sure Matt is already on it!
Posted by: hillsy | November 11, 2008 at 03:13 AM