AltJapan

FIGHT! Shin Getta-Pan Man!

Found on a Japanese website: a stupendously well-done and mildly demented parody of Getta Robo and Anpanman in classic Ken Ishikawa style. All in Japanese, but if you're an old-school Getta fan, you're used to that, right?

Think of this as a chance to read a dojinshi from the comfort of your own home rather than having queuing up for hours outside of a convention like Comiket. The almost absurdly high level of craftsmanship apparent in this totally fan-made creation is one of the hallmark differences between Japanese and American otaku, I think.

Meet the Beetles

Someone's posted the latest episode of Tokyo Eye online, featuring.... me! Watch as I suit up Steve Irwin style, head into the wilds of suburban Tokyo with a couple of bug-crazed kids, and learn how to catch monster stag beetles in the forests of Japan. Mushi king!

Pepo-Kun Busts a Move

A short clip of the Metropolitan Police Department's official mascot, Pepo-Kun, from the Motor Sport Japan 2007 show, held in Odaiba, Tokyo last weekend. Scratch that wax, Pepo! Seconds after this footage was taken, schoolchildren whipped into a frenzy by that dope beat bum rushed the stage and started slamdancing.

The Duke of Kichijoji

...That's what he's making everyone call him now. I'm talkin' bout Roger Harkavy, who upon his departure from Japan several weeks back presented me with a doggy bag (and by "doggy bag" I don't mean the kind you take food home in, but rather the supermarket bags used to collect dog waste) full of gashapon mined from the legendary vending machines of Tokyo's Nakano Broadway. And let me tell you: these mothers is crazy.

Lest this degenerate into an oh-so-wacky-Japan essay, let me gloss this with a bit of context. In the West, gumball machines have traditionally been relegated to the ghetto of the toy world. In Japan, however, they're a veritable smorgasboard of cutting-edge toy design, fertile territory for all sorts of creative experimentation. They go by various names here -- "capsule toys," "gashapon," "gatcha-gatcha toys," to name a few. They retail for anywhere from 100 to 300 yen a pop, a far cry from the quarter-cost of my youth. Some are as cheesy as anything I grew up on in America. But every once in a while, a new batch comes along that blows even my jaded mind. Behold the Duke of Kichijoji's tithe to AltJapan.

Yujin's vaguely-named Children's Encylopedia Series doesn't feature children or encyclopedias but rather tiny cutaway views of cattle, chickens, pigs, human torsos, and this being Japan, tuna and fugu blowfish. Check out the tiny labels on each of the internal organs, and remember, kids: "it's against the law to prepare fugu without a license," according to the instruction manual included with the toy.

Also by Yujin, the Potter's Wheel Club. These are really ingenious: pull a string and the minature potter's wheel spins, letting you throw fingertip-sized lumps of clay into miniscule plates and cups. The kicker: you've got to gamble at the gumball machine, because clay's packaged in its own separate capsule. (I'm not sure what the clay is made of, but it looks like candy and smells disturbingly edible.)

Speaking of disturbingly edible: Sea Monsters! Actually, no: sea monkeys. These capsules are filled with tiny packages of brine shrimp that can be "rejuvenated" in water. Ethics of selling living creatures out of gumball machines aside, what are the health implications of children or drunk adults accidentally inhaling or consuming these microorganisms? (Strange but true sidenote: when I went to look for the packet of dessicated creatures after scanning the pamphlet, I couldn't find it. Did they rehydrate themselves and go on the lam?)

And last but not least, allow me to present the Gorgeous Toilets Series. Available in five varieties (dare I say "flavors"?) of Japanese-style, Toilet Paper Holder, Urinal, and Western-style (chrome and translucent variations). Roger gave me the chrome western-style one. Lift the lid and find... A rainbow-clored turd inside. Thanks, Rog! I think...

Konnyaku Attacku

According to the Mainichi Daily News, a consortium of Japanese candy associations have unveiled an official warning label for the dastardly yet tasty candies known as konnyaku jellies. These otherwise innocuous looking, ultra-viscous sweets are easily caught in the throat of the young or elderly. Now, however, the shelves and homes of Japan are safe, thanks to this uber-kawaii portrayal of death by suffocation.

Your Mother

An amazing series of vintage 1970s commercials for a National (Panasonic) vacuum cleaner with a decidedly Ultra-flair. Even if you're giant-sized and super-powered, it seems, there's always some vacuuming to do. How long until designer toy makers start churning out vinyl figures of these characters?

Good News for Whale Lovers

According to this sign spotted outside a Kabukicho restaurant, whale meat has only 127 calories per 100 grams as opposed to 260 for beef, with close to a seventh of the fat! The sign also proclaims that whale meat reduces cholesterol and "prevents cancer." (The jury's still out on if it can block the case of clap you're bound to get if you patronize the businesses that happen to be on either side of the place.)

A lot of people ask me if eating whale is common in Japan. I have yet to meet a single person who claims to like it, let alone consume it even semi-regularly. The handful of whale specialty shops around town have similarly hyper-defensive signs posted outside, making the market for whale seem more like a cabal than a industry. According to a documentary aired on Japanese television last year, whale meat was used to supplement school lunches in the wake of food shortages just after World War II, and it is precisely this generation that seems to be the most ardent fans of harpooning the suckers for food.

Ayanami Frito-Lay

The crowds have died down, giving Patrick and I the chance to check out the new Evangelion 1.0 movie in the heart of scenic Kabukicho. For better or worse we only went once, rather than buying ten tickets and watching until our strength ran out. Given the massive hype, I'd been expecting the equivalent of Woodstock for the anime generation. But in a nutshell:

No through-the-monolith wackiness here; it's a straight run-through of the first six episodes with minor aesthetic tweaks. Beautiful (if not spectacular) visuals; rumors of poor CG integration are wholly exaggerated. Beautiful sound design, the screams of the Angels in particular. The most amusing, if unsurprising, innovation: mondo product placement for everything from UCC Coffee and Yebisu beer to Lawson convenience stores, Doritos, and even Pizza-Hut. It's intriguing how the anime tradition of unoffically inserting favorite products -- ala the infamous Macross Budweiser can -- comes across as cute, but actively enganging in official product placement feels mildly unsettling. Whatever. Like the Angels, you can expect to see more in the remaining three films, I'm sure.

A sneaky teaser after the credits hints at bigger changes ahead, but all in all it felt like well-traveled ground, a beautifully and technically executed missed opportunity.

Hard Working Characters

What the critics are saying:

"Explosive, subversive, brilliant."

"Haunting. Irresistable reading... Poignant and hilarious, threaded with compassion, and behind everything, the cataract of a thundering moral statement."

"A sparkling intellectual guidebook... an engrossing journey not to be missed."

"A book that must be read by all who are concerned about the present and future of a part of our world to which Western civilization has always been, and will continue to be, connected."

The critics are saying these things about a totally different book, but rest assured, they're equally as true of:

That's right -- it's officially on sale now at your favorite online or bricks-and-mortar bookstore!

She Is [Not] Alone

"We bought more than ten pre-release tickets, and we're going to keep watching until our strength gives out."

-Women dressed like "Rei Ayanami" and "Asuka Langley" in line for Evangelion: 1.0 You Are [Not] Alone, Opening day, Shinjuku (Yahoo News)